Camera Lucida

Ħaddmu r-ras il-kbira flok iż-żgħira.

Malli nqarrbu il-35 grad…

…l-arja tibda titwaħħad miegħek bħal qarnita u bilkemm tħallik tieħu nifs. Hekk hu s-sajf mediterranju; (m’aħniex iċ-ċentru tad-dinja, hawn diversi pajjiżi oħra jgħaddu minn dan is-suffraġju) tidlik, riħ isfel, nemus u qali ta’ bajd (jew ta’ ġenituri) fil-karozzi u fuq il-bonnets. F’pajjiż fejn l-air conditioner sar bżonn u mhux lussu, jekk tixref rasek barra bejn l-10 ta’ filgħodu u l-4 ta’ wara nofsinhar tkun qed tirriskja ħajtek għax tlaqqgħat xi kanċer tal-ġilda f’radda ta’ salib. Ħalliha li t-turisti l-hena tagħhom jinkaljaw f’dik ix-xemx li lanqas il-gremxul u l-bugħarwien ma jifilħu għaliha. Imma dawk fiex jifhmu? Dawk jagħmlu ġimgħa u jparpru jistkennu fl-arja gradevoli tat-tramuntani tal-ewropa fejn l-ebda pjanta ma tinħaraq jew tixxawwat bir-raġġi tax-xemx. Soluzzjonijiet? Jeżistu, imma għal ħin limitat. Għall-ġisem tista’ tpoġġi xugaman imxarrab b’ilma kiesaħ (jekk jirnexxielek issib) u tmiddu fuq saqajk. Jaħdem u għal ftit ħin saħansitra jikkonvinċik li qed tħoss il-bard. Għall-psike, tista’ tintefa’ tara film jew dokumentarju fuq jew ambjentat fis-silġ. Hemm diversi mnejn wieħed jista’ jagħżel (Alive, March of the Penguins, Alaska u Ice Age) li bla ma jridu jagħtuk l-impressjoni li t-temperaturi ta’ barra mhumiex għoljin daqskemm fil-fatt huma.

Mess lil Eileen Montesin, lil Rachel Vella…

…u issa kien imiss ukoll lil Prim Ministru. Xi ħadd b’ħafna ħin x’jaħli rnexxielu jiħħekkja l-wikipedia u mmodifika estensivament il-paġna ddedikata għall-ħajja personali u politika ta’ Lawrence Gonzi. Iċ-ċajt is-salmura tal-ħajja, imma imbagħad iż-żejjed kollu żejjed.

Ma nafx għaliex…

…ħafna mill-aħbarijiet qegħdin jippruvaw inaqqsu mil-mertu tal-low cost carriers li għenu sabiex ikollna aktar ċaqliq ta’ nies minn pajjiżna. Huwa sigriet magħruf li l-Maltin kollha ħadu nifs twil ta’ solljev meta skoprew li tista’ ssiefer sa post Ewropew u lura b’inqas minn €100.

Jumejn oħra…

…u d-dinja dduq l-inteliġenza tal-iPhone 3G bi prezz relattivament baxx. Għalissa ma kontx beħsiebni ngħodos fl-ibħra tal-madwar għax ħuħ il-kbir (l-iPhone) jaqdini sew u kull meta jkolli bżonn. Fortunatament, l-ispetturi tal-Apple ħasbu biex jipprovdu software bil-lest għal min diġà għandu l-ewwel wieħed. Tgħidli qalbi t-talb ta’ Jacques ma wasalx u subgħajna se jkollna nużawh aktar milli wieħed seta’ qatt jimmaġina *themiża*.

“Ibni, l-arti ma tqallgħekx flus. Agħżel kors sura ta’ nies, ta’ sinsla li wara snin ta’ studju jkun jista’ joffrilek karriera fuq platt tal-fidda li tqallgħek il-flus. Jien naf… forsi… tabib? perit? inġinier? avukat? U le x’avukat, dawk hawn ħafna minnhom u tispiċċa l-qorti tikkustinja fuq xi ħadd li seraq kwart perżut. Jew forsi accountant jew kaxxier. Jien naqrahom kuljum il-gazzetti u dejjem insib li jridu jdaħħlu n-nies biex joqogħdu jgħoddu l-flus. Ma nafx x’għerf trid biex tgħodd il-flus! Jien kont nagħmilha kull l-aħħar Ġimgħa tax-xahar meta kien jasal dak l-imbierek ċekk. Qatt ma fdajthom lill-banek u tarraft lill-imgħallem biex il-paga jtijieli flus f’idi, waħda fuq waħda. Imma ħabba li kienu serquh xi żewġ briganti, iddeċieda li jibda jħażżeż ċekk bil-pinna tad-deheb finta li kellu. U kont infekren lejn dak il-bank ta’ ħdejn Wenzu l-Imballat fis-sigħat bikrin ta’ filgħodu biex żgur inkun ma’ tal-ewwel. Imma ja mgħallqa ‘l huma, dejjem kont insib xi żewġt iġrieden li jsebbħu hemm qabli li ħlief jisħtu l-gvern u jgergru mal-ħaddiema tal-bank ma kienux jagħmlu. Imbagħad meta kien imissni jien għajnejja kienu jixgħelu u meta nirċievi l-flus f’idi noqogħod ngħoddhom bil-mod, waħda, waħda. B’hekk tgħallimt ngħodd! Qatt ma mort universitajiet u prim’awli u x’naf jien! Dan kollu nejk.

Imma insomma, ara x’għidtlek, għażel xi ħaġa li toffrilek ħobżok ta’ kuljum…”

——————-

Maestro Antonio Salieri, now confined in a hospital for the mentally ill, re-tells some memories from his childhood and how he idolized Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. At the time everyone loved Mozart, even in the remote parts of Europe.

He admits he was jealous when he heard the tales they told about Mozart. Not of the brilliant little prodigy himself, but of his father, who had taught him everything.

Salieri’s father did not care for music. He wanted him only to be a merchant, like himself. As anonymous as he was. When he told him how he wished he could be like Mozart, he would raise his eyebrow and say: “Why? Do you want to be a trained monkey? Would you like me to drag you around Europe doing tricks like a circus freak?”

How to locate pinhole cameras.

Everything started from this (spamming) e-mail:

How to detect a 2-way mirror when we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc.? How many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror? There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms. It is very difficult to positvely identify the surface by just looking at it. It’s time to get paranoid. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty? Well, once again, I am here to enlighten you. Just conduct this simple test:

Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a gap between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a genuine mirror. However, if your fingernail directly touches the image of your nail, then beware, for it is a 2-way mirror! You can further ascertain the nature of the suspect surface by hurling an object (e.g. a chair!) at it. The chair will go through.

So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the “fingernail test”. It doesn’t cost you anything. It is simple to do, and it might save you from getting “visually raped”!

Share this with your girlfriends.

Snopes says the “fingernail test” might work, but not necessarily.

Meta jasal nofs April, jien inħobb nagħmel il-monologi. Jekk intom ma tħobbuwhomx, mel’allura taqrawx aktar u għalqu din it-tieqa immedjatament (jaf tisplodi wara xi ħames minuti wkoll).

1982 - twelid. Michael Jackson tħajjar isir abjad u Spielberg ivvinta l-ET. Kont nara ħafna nies jilbsu mitt elf kulur u jmorru għand il-barbier biex itellgħu xagħarhom bħal mixtla fil-ġnien tal-Argotti. Apparti Charles Arrigo (Alla jaħfirlu) jirrakkonta r-rumanzi tax-xabla u t-turban fuq Xandir Malta, it-televiżjoni kienet għanqbuda ta’ stazzjonijiet Sqallin – minn Roberto il Baffo sas-saqqijiet tal-Eminflex sa’ Mike bongiorno bir-rota tal-fortuna tiegħu. Qbiżna fin-disgħinijiet u Cobain deffes xi arma f’ħalqu… li probabilment ħalla effett fuq dak il-ġgant (metaforikament u litteralment) ta’ Quentin Tarantino għax ħlief jordna glalen ta’ demm ma bediex jagħmel (għall-films, s’intendi). Ħallietna Diana, ħallietna Tereża (is-soru) u dorna għall-2000 (għal xi raġuni kulħadd jiftakar x’kien qed jagħmel meta qalbet is-sena 2000! Jien niftakar ukoll… imma mhux ħa ngħid… għax hekk.). Fl-2004 bdiet l-avventura tiegħi fiċ-ċivil. Fl-2007 bagħatu għalija Kastilja u dak li kellu jkellimni ma setgħux isibuh. Ġie ieħor li ma tantx deher ħa gost bija u qalli li rrid nitla’ ġirone ieħor. Minn dakinhar għadda ftit aktar minn sena.

Nista’ nkompli nitħaddet x’se jiġri imma m’għandix flus għall-qarrejja tax-xorti.

Min qal li l-blogs addictive? Wara xi 3 xhur erġajt ġejt s’hawn inlaħħam lil dal-blog megħlub.

U min qal li l-materjaliżmu ħażin u jwittilek t-triq għal ħruq tal-infern (u ta’ Sant’Antnin)? Dan l-aħħar persuna b’qalb twajba u kbira daqs il-ħofra ta’ Guatemala għoġobha tirregalali l-kbir iPhone. Ma nista’ ngħid xejn fuqu li diġa ma ntqalx - biċċa inġinerija li kważi kważi timbuttalek demgħa bil-kommozzjoni.

Mhux ħażin għal xi ħadd li ma jafx li jeżistu image consultants.

Wishing you a blissful Christmas.

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.” - Charles Dickens

A virtual trip around the recent blooming of the social networking websites (predominantly facebook, hi5 and wayn) can sometimes really crack you up. I am particularly referring to those comments on the right hand side of the screen which users can post on other users’ profiles and which are usually machine-generated, all the more eating out the social concept on which those websites are based. I have reproduced some of them hereunder, with the intent of lifting your spirits high up beyond the sky’s limits:

- 97% of u wont send this:When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of u.If u’re a part of the 3% that care send to 10 ppl and c wat He does 2nite;

- Looks like it’s a HUGS WAR

- YOU BETTER HUG ME NOW!
Pass this hug to all of
your FRIENDS and back
to me, see how many
you get back!
~~~***HUGGGGG***~~~;

- ♥●♥ Xanna dolorr ?? kolloxx il-fuqq ghandek hiqhiq .. ♥●♥

- (This is for girls only, otherwise delet it)IF YOU HAD ME ALONE… LOCKED UP IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS & I HAD TO DO WHAT EVER YOU WANTED ME TO, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH ME? TELL ME IN MY INBOX .. CUZ ITS A SECRET… THEN SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR CONTACTS… YOU MIGHT BE SUPRISED WITH THE RESPONSES YOU GET. THEY COULD MAKE YOU LAUGH OR EVEN SMILE .. LOL.IF YOU DONT REPOST THIS YOU ARE A COWARD AND ARE TOO AFRAID TO SEE WHO ACTUALLY LIKES YOU.SEND THIS TO EVERYONE….

- THE HOLIDAY MOON WAR HAS STARTED, MOON EVERONE U CAN EXCEPT THE ONE WHO GOT U. KISS MY ASS I GOT U FIRST! :-]

- Believe me I’ll follow this could be easy I’ll be the help whenever you need me I see you hustle wit my hustle I Can keep you Focused on yo focus I can feed you.

- …u hekk hu…zvergnajtlek il-hajt

And there’s also Mortimer the travelling bear in disguise.

Taking pictures of people is probably the thing I love doing most but I’m terribly edgy when I’m at the other side of the lens (even though my posed self-portraits do not seem to suggest so);

I adore a wide array of chocolate varieties but my taste buds despise with a passion chocolate ice cream;

I love everything about Italy; culture, nature, the people’s attitude towards life, cuisine, their way of putting words but can’t stand the national Italian soccer team (I don’t support the British one either, I’m all for Germany!);

I consider the Bible as one of the best books ever written with all its metaphors, parables and teachings. I’m also a proud owner of Marilyn Manson’s Last Tour On Earth, Mechanical Animals and Portrait of An American Family.

Raw milk would undeniably make me shit my guts out if not puke like a drunkard teen. But my intestines seem to accept and greet with a warm welcome an endless list of dairy products like mayonnaise, mozzarella, cheese, cheeselets, ice cream, cream and ricotta.

My skin is pretty allergic to wool, the sun, and some types of plants. However I am usually told that dark skin is the most resistant type of skin in hot climates such as the Mediterranean one.